Today I picked the “I am enough fairy dress” card from the HEALING FAIRY ALPHABET DECK.
This card has many meanings including the obvious. The “I am not enough” can show up in different ways and in different nasty disguises.
I felt this card this morning. BIG TIME.
All the “what I should do’s.” I felt lost, confused. Which way to go? I get more lost when I look around at other people. The ironic, funny part is I then start asking other people what I should do and get even more lost. Visited a few websites, spent time on Facebook, and thought up a very long SHOULD list.
- That one great author has little sayings you can sign up for that pop into your email box. I should do that.
- I need to put on an online seminar and give away something for free.
- Why don’t I go back to school because those ladies in the Happy Advertisement are having a ball.
- I need more memes on Pinterest. You can never have enough memes. Then I can share them on Facebook too.
- My Instagram should show my delicious, interesting lifestyle. Yes, I can show me drinking martinis in the sand (although Arizona doesn’t have sand). I can photograph lovely floral arrangements and I am wearing snappy career outfits (hold up, I live in jeans and I have no florals. That would be a fun class to take though.)
- I need to do a YouTube tv show! Like today! This second! I will go put on some makeup at the very least.
My head hurts. No wonder my brain is on overload and I am sneezing up enough waste to fill up my bathtub. It’s too much. Being a Capricorn I will usually try to do my list all in one day, because, well, I can, and I know how.
HOLD THE PHONE! Okay, let’s go about this a new way. The Internet has convinced me I am not doing enough and everyone else is doing it better. Stick it Internet! No, really.
WHAT I WANT TO DO:
- I want to teach in a fun way with lots of creativity and playing and experimenting like creative artist/writer/scientists. That’s my focus.
- I want to draw stuff. And make books. I love to make books, and I love when my books or the books I work on help other people.
- I’d rather write this blog because I love to write and entertain you while I am at it; give you that ‘aha’ moment while you are giggling a bit.
- I want to make little movies because it’s fricking fun, and there’s lots of movement and story, and I want to invite you to see them.
Maybe it’s simple. Maybe we get caught up in the SHOULDS and the overwhelming theme of MORE. We need to do more and jump up and down. The key is to wipe away all the SHOULDS and come back to: what do you want to do?
And maybe, just maybe, and is this possible, it’s enough. What you want to do and what you do is enough.
And if it isn’t? Well, dang, at least we get to do what we really want to do and have some fun during the time we have.
Until next time ~ Designing Fairy